It is a subtle thing,
fall in hazy brown Los Angeles. The temp
remains consistent with summer but there is a certain slant of light infused
with gold and a change in the texture of the air. Dew coats the windows of the cars in the
morning but any atmospheric moisture burns off well before noon. We want the fall colors and the crisp air of
the Pacific Northwest or New England, but that is impossible here, and we have
to live with that.
The triggers of fall
are Friday night high school football games, kids and teens at the mall and
cheerleaders in full regalia grabbing a bite to eat before heading back to
campus for the game. It is nostalgia in
real time and it is potent. I remember
those games when I look at the youngsters chasing each other around the shops—was
there anything more important than to get someone to like us? Showing off, trying to say the right
things. All for a relationship that
might last a week. Ahh, young love.
For most of us, that
perfect high school love affair never panned out. We were never popular enough, we lacked
social skills and manners. All in all,
we were learning in the classroom and in the bleachers at the game. Who we came to be is there in the roots of
how we were.
Then, as fall deepens,
we see the pumpkins, the shorter days, the ritualistic holiday crush of
Christmas shopping. It all goes so fast—the
parental view. I want to fast forward to
Friday—the teenage view.
Small things stick in
the mind. I remember past falls very
well. My father used to find big binders
in the trash at work. They had the local
telephone company logo on them and had been used to hold manuals for employees. He would bring them home, I would scrub one
clean with Formula 409 and that crossed another item off the list of school
supplies I needed. The pencils and pens
I used in previous years were still salvageable. I had a few folders for loose papers as well. My mother told me that there was no money for
new school supplies, and besides, the ones I scrounged together were “like new.”
I always wanted the 64
pack of Crayola Crayons. I do not know
why because I was a terrible artist and after only a little time, I grew
frustrated and bored with the latest art project we were assigned to do because
I could not do it. So why buy the
biggest box of crayons with its own sharpener for someone who did not like art
class? Art was fun for my classmates but
I just had no ability and always felt like a fish out of water.
Recently, I shared
this story with my wife and she went out and bought me a coloring book and the
64 box of crayons. It was a warm and
comic gesture and we laughed about it.
However, I have since learned that coloring is good for relaxation. There are even adult coloring books now. The one my wife got me is: City
Escapes: Color Your Favorite World
Cities. The page for Los Angeles is
interesting and contains the following images in a collage format: surfing, the Santa Monica Pier, Route 66, the
giant donut, Griffith Observatory, Hollywood, Downtown, Movie Stars, and City
of Angels. A strip of 35 millimeter film
runs along the left side of the page. I
will, someday, color this in with my crayons just for fun and relaxation. No pressure.
For now, though, I
keep the pristine box on my desk. I have
affixed a post-it to the front of it: “Use
every crayon,” it says. The saying has
nothing to do with coloring but with life.
Every day I want to use the talents I was given. Hold nothing back. Leave it all on the field, as the saying
goes. This is my work ethic, my work
motto. “Use every crayon.” I want to use the time I have left to be the
most productive. Life is Art. Living well demands the use of every
crayon. Color it all, bring it to life,
even brittle brown autumnal Los Angeles, as well as my sepia-colored memories
of a kid staring out the window, lost in another world, in art class.
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